Alf the Elf's Blog of Pericombobulation!

Halloween

2009-11-01T01:56:00.001-07:00

Halloween is a silly day, by the way I need to promote my blogs better, cause no one reads them very silly. comment if you read this post.

The End: SO SAD!!!

2009-10-29T11:28:00.001-07:00

The time has come to delete this blog and move to a new space as all good blogs must do. Like my first one ‘WWW.alfieisanutter.blogspot.com’ but for my third blog there will be much more frequent posts and probably an on going video blog combined with the prank calls!

Live Writer

2009-10-29T01:39:00.001-07:00

Wow, Just discovered windows live writer! Which you can edit your blog without blogger! and add videos, photos and maps so much easier!

Jade Orr Conversation

2009-10-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

The Jade Orr Conversation

Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 5:29pm | Edit Note | Delete

08 July 2009, 10:04 PM, Skype.

Jade: Hi, In resistant materials tomorrow, can you help me with my clock?

Alfie: Yer sure, What do you have to do on it?

Jade: It's the screws in the back, keeps coming off.

Alfie: Yer I'll fix that.

Jade: so have you masturbated?

Alfie: (JOKE) Yer loads about 700 times!

Jade: Really?, I should try it!

Alfie: Yer you should.

Jade: How do I do it, explain.

Alfie: Well you put your fingers up you vagina, and you go in and out or around as fast as you like until
you get an orgasm.

Jade: Which hole is it?

Alfie: Ear hole.

Jade: Ok I'll try it, so do you like my vagg?

Alfie: (Quite disturbed by now) not really.

Jade: Why?

Alfie: There's probably better ones in the world

Jade: Would you ever go out with me?

Alfie: Nay!

Jade: Oh, Why?

Alfie: Cause your weird!

Jade: How am I?

Alfie: Cause you ask people if they masturbate!

Jade: No you said that.

Alfie: How did I you asked Jess and Matt first.

Jade: Jess?

Alfie: cox

Jade: oh yer.

Jade: Lol, do you like me as a mate? Can we be mates?

Alfie: No, cause you still scare me. Anyway g2g, have fun experimenting!

End of conversation

14 and 1/3

2009-08-16T06:21:00.000-07:00

My exact age is 14.333!

New Blog made for prank calls

2009-08-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

http://phonetheelf.blogspot.com/

Made by:

Jess

Joe

Matt

Ross

Iona

and yazmin

Post

2009-08-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything for a long time so here is a post!

wow best game ever!

2009-08-03T07:09:00.001-07:00

http://www.thegamehomepage.com/play/exploding-cow-milk-crisis/

In England

2009-07-29T04:25:00.000-07:00

ENGLAND is silly!

A short message before I depart

2009-07-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, I'm Leaving soon so bye. But before I go, I would like to say "THE GAME".

P.s by this I don't mean I'm going to kill my self

But If I do die It's because of that!

Frank Zappa - children

2009-07-12T13:59:00.000-07:00

Frank zappa called his 4 children:

Moon Unit

Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen

Dweezil

and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan

The sub domination of the Irish sea

2009-07-08T04:56:00.000-07:00

My very first play, by Alfie Stoppani:

The Sub Domination of

the Irish Sea

ACT I.

SCENE I. Reachra,coast.

Dusk

SUE - center stage left

TREVOR - center stage left

Enter SUE and TREVOR

SUE: Oh NO

TREVOR: What is it?

SUE: It's the sub domination of the Irish sea!

TREVOR: Oh dear, yes I see the problem. It's The Welsh, There intimidating our only flock of sheep. They may just

die of an intimidational heart attack.

SUE: The sheep are the only export from Ireland.

TREVOR: If we don't stop these fiends then the economic stability of Reachra will drop as quick a lemon from a tall tower.

SUE: There is one possibility,

SUE LIFTS ONE HAND TOWARDS THE SKY AND CASTS A SPELL.

A BOOK FALLS TO DOWN STAGE RIGHT,

SUE LOOKS SURPRISED FOR MOMENT.

SUE: Ar, 'The guide to Irish law' by Dr. Darius Whelan

TREVOR: of course, The Law guide it's our only hope.

SUE FLICKS THROUGH THE BOOK.

SUE: I've Found an answer to our problems. It says here that it's legal to shoot a welsh man with a longbow within the

City walls of Chester if the Event happens after midnight.

TREVOR: It's a perfect plan let's, sleep and begin our journey at dawn.

ALL EXIT

SCENE II. Forest

Morning

ENTER SUE AND TREVOR FROM LEFT

SUE: Did you pack the root beer?

TREVOR: Yes, I had Boris brew me a flask over night. He seemed all too keen to help us in our journey.

SUE: He reads the 'financial Times' you know.

TREVOR: I would hate to think how he would react if he knew that the sheep he's grown up with had died.

SUE: I Agree, we must stop those heartless sheep murderers.

TREVOR BENDS DOWN AND PICKS A WILD FLOWER, THEN EATS IT

TREVOR: were on the right track, Phalaenopsis Orchids always taste sweeter the closer they grow to puffins. so puffin cliff should only be an hours walk from here. I'm quite sure it's North-east.

ALL EXIT

SCENE III. The Frozen Hog Inn.

Late Morning

BORIS, PERSON 1, PERSON 2, PERSON 3 ARE ON STAGE. ENTER DAVID

Post Eleven

2009-07-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

For my 11th post on this particular blog I have chosen to discuss my favorite Marmoset in the world, Dwayne! Dwayne lives in a 2 bedroom flat in Woburn, Milton keynes. He works part-time in Woburn Safari Park as an entertainer for the visitors. Dwayne is currently single and recovering from a tough divorce with his 2nd wife. Despite his cute look, Dwayne was once a successful boxer and won gold in the Marmoset Sydney Olympics. Dwayne retired from boxing three years ago after his divorce. After this photo was took a human ranger on the safari park flicked Dwayne off me with his plastic ID card.

My Life Story of Today

2009-06-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

I woke up and fell of a cliff (Corey Cliff) and found a fish that had been frozen so I ate it and magically teleported to school where I saw Joe Balfour who is not mentioned enough in my blog.

" hi Joe" said me.

" hi Alf" said Joe. " hey in about 4 hours do you want to climb over the metal fence to get my boot bag?"

" yes I would love that".

Then I had Geography and I was in D10, and then for the last 30 mins of the lesson we sat out side on the field and talked about good music.

Next I had science where I saw Jess, who defiantly is mentioned enough in this blog, for the first time of the day. we got moved because of group reasons and I got incredibly scared by Bradley Jones and his interests in bras.

Then it was break and me and Dennie who also isn't mentioned enough in this blog, talked about stuff.

The next was um.. um... um... um... um.. um.. um.. um.. maths and I nearly got my pubic hair rip out by Emilie Sylvester, because of a fan incident. Over all maths was 'circle-tastic'

The next next next lesson was history and I can't remember much what happened in that lesson so I'll move on to 'Lunch' this is the part where I climbed over the fence got the bag, waved to Martian who has never been mentioned in the blog and hopefully never will be. Jumped over the fence again and burst a blood vessel in my foot. Then we bounded Joe and Christina's balls.

Next was form time and we did nothing.

The Last lesson was P.E and nothing happened.

Then I went to bed and slept. Night Night!

No No No No!

2009-06-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

Are they Lesbian?

Click here to watch the video

More from TRAY!

2009-06-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

This video is better than allot of the others but still not good. Listen where she says 'I fucked it up'.

click here to watch the video

STOP THE MADNESS!

2009-06-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

This has gone too far! Two teenage girls half naked on a trampoline is one thing, but a video of over 30 Furbies is just wrong. Who in their right mind still has one Furbie and why the hell did they have it in the first place.

Click here to watch the video!

The Dan Smith Appreciation Post

2009-06-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

Dan Smith is a boy of 13 who is going to die 16 days after hist 14th birthday :(
Dan has a very large chin and is going out with Paige Argent, (who is incredably sexy).
He is also single.

My Elvish name?

2009-06-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently my elvish name is 'Berren Felassion' so im not sure, personaly im happy with alf the elf. And plus I found out that my name means 'King of the Elves', so yay. Alfie - 'Elf Counsel'

Sea Life - The album now available

2009-06-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

You can purchase this fantastic new

compilation CD for just £14.99 at

most places that Alfie Stoppani is.

Look what was in the Daily Mail this morning!

2009-06-19T10:01:00.001-07:00

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

An amazing V4!

2009-06-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

0ne-novemnonagintillion! = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Music Recommendation of the week!

2009-06-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

This weeks good song of the week is:

estranged - Guns 'n' roses

Please ask the elf to send you this song if you are interested